Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
