I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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