Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
