Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
