Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
