Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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