Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Small penises have feelings too.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
