just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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