Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
