i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
