we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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