I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
