Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
