Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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