guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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