I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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