Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
