if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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