My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
