so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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