WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
