one two three fourrrrnication!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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