worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
