she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
