I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
