I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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