I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
