i just had sex bonerless
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
