She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
