If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
