Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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