Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
