I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
