Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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