I want to stick my p in your. b.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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