Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Randomize
