Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
