If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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