So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize