Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
