quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
