Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
soo... how was my night?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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