I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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