She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize