By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
