Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You pole danced in your parka.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
