Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
