Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
