She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
