if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
