I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
BRING THE BAGELS
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
