Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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