strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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