At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize