That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
