So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
