So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
