Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
