Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
