K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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