I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
